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5 ways to unleash more inner strengths through self love

Updated: Jun 23, 2022

© Copyright 2021 Artwork by Cordi Neckermann

I believe self love is a superpower that all humans posess. Just one moment of kindness with yourself can have a positive effect on your wellbeing. Self love lets you tap into a pool of inner strength that can help you move forward and get through whatever you might be facing.

Be a Broccoli - choose the unique YOU

Life is never just about rainbows and unicorns. Social media feeds containing ever-smiling and beautiful images are merely small snapshots in time, which are normally elaborately manufactured to look effortless. Whatever we see on screen, in magazines or newspapers, very rarely resembles reality. With the simplest of photoshop tools, each and every one of us can be turned into a barbie-doll-like cover model, all wrinkles and laugh lines gone in an instant. So comparing yourself to any of them is completely pointless ... instead, why not embrace all the little things than make you unique.

It’s like comparing a broccoli and a cucumber. A cucumber might look nice and shiny on the outside, but all cucumbers pretty much look the same and aren’t really super exciting to look at. A broccoli on the other hand, has much more detail and intricacies and looks different from every angle. If you don’t believe me, try to draw a still life of a broccoli and a cucumber and you will soon understand what I mean. My message is, be a broccoli and celebrate all your little details and special ways you’ve grown up with, instead of trying to be a slick and boring cucumber.

Fully embracing who you are and loving and cherishing that full 'you-ness', makes space for growth in any area of your life and gives you the power to overcome all obstacles on the way to achieving your goals. This is because your goal is truly you and we lovely humans always fight for what we love.

Love your feelings

Being happy is great, but nobody is happy 24 hours for 7 days a week. Happiness is a wonderful goal to have and going on an adventure to find out what actually makes you happy is already happiness in itself. But what is even more important, is to be honest with all your feelings and accept them along the way. We are all human and go through other not-so desirable feelings too. Shutting them our or trying to clear them away is not very helpful and can have negative consequences for you health.

Feelings have a purpose. They are there to tell us something about ourselves and all you have to do is listen and let them in. This is easy with positive feelings, however feelings like sadness and anger are not so welcome. We don’t really see those on social media as no-one likes to share reality.

Experiencing our feelings as they arise isn’t especially convenient. We can’t really bite our boss’s or coworker’s head off or start crying in the middle of a meeting. The way our society is set up doesn’t really appreciate outbursts of negative feelings. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be honest about your feeling with yourself. Allowing yourself to acknowledge a certain feeling and letting it in and pass through, is already a big step in the right direction. There is always a pillow to hit, hug, cry or scream into. Feelings are better out than in and tapping into them to propel you forward towards your goals can truly feel like a superpower.

Tackle the Fear Ninja

Fear is one of the strongest emotions known to mankind. It has the capability and capacity to render the human mind numb (freeze mode). At times, we are not even aware that we are acting out of fear. It’s an invisible force, like a Ninja attacking out of the shadows and leaves us powerless and small in the worst possible moments.

In order to tackle the Fear Ninja, we need to draw it out of the shadows. Fear can be lurking in the back of our minds, but by shining a spotlight on it, we have chance to use it to our advantage. When fully feeling fear, we can directly call on our courage and use fear as a power to move us forward, rather than seeing it as something to hold us back.

This is one of my favourite quotes which beautifully sums up the how to disarm the Fear Ninja:

“Have you ever looked fear in the face and said I just don’t care”

by Song Lyrics by Pink

Shining a spotlight on our fears is definitely not an easy task and requires not only courage, but an enormous amount of self-love and acceptance. Allowing fear in and being honest with ourselves about it’s existence (acknowledging it) can be a scary step. But I believe we all have an inner superhero deep inside of us, who is always by our side, giving us the strength to tap into the courage and power we need to face and disarm the Fear Ninja and turn it around, tapping into into it’s power, rather than allowing it to leave us paralysed.

Love your story

The ability to have compassion and empathy is one of the greatest powers we humans hold. Walking a mile in someone else's shoes and being open to consider their story and challenges which have led to a certain behaviour is what connects us to every human on this planet. But we can only truly listen and understand someone else’s story if we first understand and love our own.

We all have a different story. Some good, some bad, some traumatic. We can’t escape our past or go back and change it. The only thing we can do, is embrace our story with love and acceptance and give ourselves permission to work through it. In some cases, this may require the help and support from a mental health professional, but it all starts with self-love and allowing yourself to heal from past traumas.

Your story is what makes you unique and owning that story can open your heart to more compassion and empathy for others.

Allow yourself to feel great!

Sometimes, it's easier to want something good for others than for ourselves. This is when we need to listen to our inner superhero and steer ourselves towards our own self-love island. We need to remind ourselves that we all have constant permission to feel good, but recognise that sometimes, we stand in our own way and get too attached to the struggle, that we forget to be kind to ourselves and do nice things for ourselves as well.

Everyone on this planet has a right to feel great, inspired and motivated. Don’t wait for permission to be curious about all the things that could make you happy. Knowing exactly what can do to lift yourself out of a rut or a bad mood is like magic. We are all different and unique (like broccoli!) and so are our triggers for happiness. Sh** always happens in life, but there is always something we can do to clear it away and turn the light back on.

Don’t ever be afraid to do what you love, whatever hobby or activity (art, sport etc.) that may be. You don’t need extra permission. All you need is you, supported by a whole lot of love for that beautiful you. Stand tall and let your wonderful uniqueness shine through.

If your happy place is dancing (like mine is), then I would love to dance with you. I teach some super fun online dance fitness classes and also have in person classes in the London studio in, Hampstead.

If you need some help slowing down and listening to yourself, allowing you to tap into your self-love power, I’m happy to help. I offer one-to-one sessions, group yoga classes and beginner yoga classes online.

Sometimes when the mind is super busy closing the eyes for meditation can be overwhelming and even a little scary for some of us. But that doesn't mean meditation is impossible. Drawing for example is a wonderful example of meditation in motion. Adding a creative hobby could be just the perfect stress release you need. I put together a short 50 minute beginner drawing class to get you started and it is FREE for you to get started. Click here to find the perfect creative hobby.

See you soon,


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