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How I learned to be more myself

Updated: Jun 22, 2022

Being fully yourself can feel like a super power

© Copyright 2021 Artwork by Cordi Neckermann

“Just be yourself” I’m sure you’ve heard that one before. The standard advice when heading into an uncertain situation. But what does that actually mean? Why is it that you need to be encourage to be yourself. Shouldn’t you want to be yourself to begin with?

Being you or who

This just-be-yourself-business isn’t all that straight forward. Our brains are wired for survival and that means sticking with our tribe, community or group. One little human out on their own was a death sentence in the days of mammoths and sabertooth tigers. Today this is not really such an issue anymore but our brain still works that way. Someones approval, especially from someone we admire and belonging somewhere makes us feel extra good. So naturally we do things to fit in and to please. It only gets problematic when that is all we focus on. Working hard only to fit in or seek approval from someone else can leave us feeling empty. It is basically handing your power over to an outside source instead of fuelling your own flame.

Your Superpower

The most basic form of being yourself is being human. Everyone I have encountered in my life so far fits into that category. No encounters with aliens, goblins, orks or fairies yet. Although here an there I have contemplated if I might be an alien or different species but that is a funny story for another day. The point is we are all human made up out of the same components. We all have the same body with some minor differences, our brains function more or less the same way, and with this consciousness we stumble around this beautiful planet. What makes us different from each other is our stories. Our experiences shape us from the moment we are born. We are all born as an empty book and then filled with stories as we live our life. Some stories are beautiful and some are traumatic. Whatever your story is, it is yours and yours alone to shape. You are the writer of your story and that is your human superpower. Even if it sometimes doesn’t seem that way but you have the to choose. Chose your own goals, actions, dreams and choose to feel good or not.

How to choose

It can get difficult to chose the right actions in life if you don’t know what it is that you really want. It’s like going into the grocery store with a rumbling belly and with out a plan for dinner. You will come out with all kinds of stuff to feed you quickly instead of carefully chosen ingredients for a meal that is nutritious and will keep you healthy long term. If you don’t know what exactly you want you can end up with stuff that might not really make you happy and satisfied on the long run.

Who to ask

Who could you possible ask to help you with your grocery shopping aka decision making? Yes exactly, a not-starving version of you, because you know what you like best. Sometimes this not-starving, 100%-you version is buried under stories and believes that you heard throughout your life. They can be stories of limitations like defining what’s normal or what you have to do to be successful and loved. It is your choice what stories to believe in and which ones are Bull****. Underneath all the stories and beliefs is the real you who has all the right answers.

Sounds crazy?

Maybe, but just imagine if you could step into this kind of power?

Become that best version of YOU

Being the best and most original version of yourself in a mental and physical sense is nothing short of f*** awesome. When you are doing, being and looking yourself guess what happens? You find more people like you and you can have your own little tribe, group or community.

So how can you get to that best version of you?

I can’t really answer that for you but I can tell you my story. I started my journey by redefining my body image. I’ve never been happy with the shape of my body. Legs too short, hips to wide and no waistline. My body and I were not friends to say the least. So the biggest stories I had to let go of was the traditional image of a beautiful woman’s body that I grew up with which was long legs, narrow hips and just overall super skinny. Like all the super models in the 90s.

“Every body is shaped differently and is perfect in it’s own way” that was the new message I had to embrace. The biggest help in this for me was dancing. Learning how to confidently move my body helped me appreciate and love what my body can do for me. Finding the Connection to the rhythm of the music and practicing the movements, tuning into timing and balance made me realise that I’m not a still life. The real beauty of a body is in how it moves and that is connected deeply to your authenticity, to who you are deep inside. Strengthening my muscles and adding dance fitness cardio workout to my life brought out my best features. But more importantly I started feeling stronger and had more energy. I was amazed and surprised what my body was capable of.

Do I look like a super model now? No way, but I fell in love with my body and that is more important then just looking good. Besides, all bodies can look cover-ready when photographed in the right light, right position with a little photoshop magic added.

There is more to the self than just the body so taking care of my inner workings was just as important to self-love and acceptance as a renewed body image. There are many different ways to approach the inner world, my way was through yoga and meditation. Learning how to slow down and listen to my thoughts without getting caught up in them was a monumental change. Taking this practice into my daily life and applying it to guide my thoughts into the right direction towards my goals brought around some major positive shifts in my life. I pay more attention to the world around me now and it ignited a new curiosity. These are two very welcome side effects that the practice of yoga brought me and they sometimes turn my daily life into an adventure.

If you need to feel a little bit more like YOURSELF and you are ready to make some shifts in your life then come join me for yoga class or dance fitness class. Strengthening your body and mind is the perfect first step to become a stronger and healthier you.

Can't wait to meet you!


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