Don’t look in the mirror to see whats wrong, look to see what’s right :-)
© Copyright 2021 Artwork by Cordi Neckermann
Self love can sound a bit strange I admit but let me clear up what exactly I mean with that. It is actually quite simple. Self love means that you treat yourself the very same way as you would treat somebody else you love dearly. Life gets really complicated when we try desperately to seek somebody’s approval or put more effort into keeping others happy before we take care of ourselves. It’s like on an airplane (I know it probably has been a while since you’ve been on one) the flight attendant ask you to put the oxygen mask on first and then help others. You have to be at your most powerful to efficiently be of service and the best part about this is that caring and helping others is so much more fun and enjoyable that way. Instead of feeling stressed we are free to feel the rewards of having nurtured another person. So how does more self love turn into a stress buster?
Your hardest critic
This might not be true for everyone but I’m sure there are some of you out there who will identify themselves as their harshest critic. When the inner perfectionist roams free you are in for a whole lot of stress caused just by yourself and your thoughts. Stress that only lives in your head. On top of that there will be the actual critics and god forbid if they have anything bad to stay you will be the one beating yourself up over it instead of sifting through the helpful and non helpful criticism.
When you activate your self love powers you are in for the actual perfect outcome and growth. Respecting and knowing your own power and energy level while keeping an eye on the actual goal rather than pleasing your inner critic will leave you feeling like a winner whatever the result. Even if the outcome is not as expected you are able to walk away with a lesson stashed in your back pocket. With your self love power activated you can assure yourself that you gave your very best and learn the lesson turning your loss into a win every time and ditching all the stress of pleasing others by focusing on your own growth and learning.
Clear actions
This is one of the most obvious stress busters more self love can provide you with. If you know and respect your energy level you are bound to make clear decisions based on that knowledge. You are more likely to reach out for help and manage your time in a ways that leave you feeling in control rather than overwhelmed.
Putting your energy into the right actions rather than dancing at everyones party spreading yourself thin instead of spreading your wings will leave you feeling like you are running on a hamster wheel. Putting all the energy in but not really seeing clear results.
Knowing and respecting your energy level makes it much easier to be honest about taking on more jobs and responsibilities. When we are depleted of energy it doesn’t mater what you do it will always reflect your poor energy level and cause stress. Being honest about what you can really take on is not a weakness it is a superpower that gives you the perfect foundation to create amazing work and shine in whatever field.
More inspiration and creativity
Things go south all the time. Life happens and sh** happens. But instead of drifting off into self loathing, blaming others and despair, activating your self love power can actually help to change the situation from disaster to blessing in disguise. Trusting your intuition and creativity is amplified through the power of self love. All humans are wired to create. If give ourselves permission to tap into that creative power and open up to more unusual and unexpected solutions our minds might just get more occupied with the excitement of turning a situation around rather than drowning in our own misfortune and feeling powerless and stressed.
The magic NO
This stress buster ties in closely with taking clear actions. Being able to say no is one of the most powerful actions we can take. If you are trying to please everyone and don’t care about your energy level or how you feel, saying no is difficult. As soon as you turn on that self love power it becomes very clear that the word “no” is a necessary protection for your own wellbeing and mental health and most of all your most valuable asset: Time.
Even just spending 10 minutes is valuable time you can use for yourself and staying connected to yourself. Managing time and being aware of how you spend it and who you give it to can lift a lot of stress off your shoulders. But it all has to start with self love and respect. You have to choose to be a super hero for yourself and protect your time and energy by saying no to certain things.
Embrace Humanness
In order to understand someone else’s story we need to love and own our own story first. We can’t walk a mile in someone else’s shoes if we can’t fill our own. If we don’t love the human within us how can we love another human. Compassion is recognising that the other person is not so different from yourself.
We all live through a different story that shapes us and sometimes wanting that story to be different one or imagining a story about someone else aka judging can cause a huge amount of stress in our lives. Strengthening that self love muscle opens up a more compassionate approach to life. Refines our ability to look and listen to the people around us with more understanding. Instead of feeling angry and irritated by the person honking in traffic you can connect to your own desire of wanting to get home faster and make sense of the other person’s reaction instead of stress out about it and firing off judgement into their direction.
First step
The first step towards more self love is the willingness to look and reconnect. Rediscover your inner superhero. Finding stillness through yoga and mediation, dancing yourself free and sweating it out in a dance fitness class or going on an adventure by learning how to draw and discover your inner world. Those are all ways to spend quality time with yourself to reconnect.
YOU matter, what YOU do matters!
If any of the those three things I mentioned about sound like fun to you then take the first step to more fun me-time. You can book all of my classes here and learn more about my drawing class here.
Don’t look in the mirror to see whats wrong, look to see what’s right :-)
See you soon,
Cordi